5 years ago i abandoned my past...

And started a fresh in a new school where i knew no one who was previously in the same primary school as me. I changed my hair and challenged to keep my long hair, changed the way i talked, putting on a mask so that no one knew or recognized who i was. For i knew how much i hated the past me, and wanted to change. Met a great friend along the way, and we stuck it through with each other, knowing that each other is all we’ve got. 

Together we worked hard, and managed to put ourselves in places where only we can achieve. Because of our results we were isolated from the class, because we were the only ones studying. We stayed up late in the school and make notes with each other. The times we had, the time we pulled through together felt too short looking at it back now. 

Taking prizes together on stage, sharing that glorious moment when we first took our results. We stand tall once, and at that time, we knew no one can beat us as long as we worked hard. 

Teachers once said: ” Shu has one half of the answer, and u have the other. Together both of you are a set of complete answers” How true the teacher was, for it happened many times. We fought through the graduation exams together, because the school was closed, we had to be separated from each other. All the stress has gotten into me and i could not study. She knew that and told me: “Just do your best. You’ve only got one chance.”

In the end, she had the chance to have the glorious moment of having the principal called her name as one of the top graduating students of the school. While me, i was left feeling an emptiness in my heart, not knowing to feel sad or elated for i knew that my results aren’t taking me anywhere far, while she, she’s got a whole bright future ahead of her. 

Until my geography teacher approached me, she asked: ” How are yr results?” Her one question struck off all the emotions that were buried deep beneath my calmness and i cried while trying to find comfort in her words. I guess she sort of knew what i was feeling and looked at my results searching for an answer to comfort the helpless me. Helpless, depressed, lost was all i felt that day. While my friend called her family for the good news, i knew in the end, we all will be alone. We all have to depend on ourselves. I went home and not speak a word about it, my parents did not know what emotional event happened in school. The only thing they knew was that i took my results that day and that was it. 

Today will working, one of my colleague said i look familiar, surprisingly she was from the same primary school as me. She tried to make me remember her and the school events that we might have attended together. I really want to tell her that i abandoned my past and would never want to be reminded of it again. But i just can’t, the last impression of me she had was during that past that i abandoned. So i just said : “You looked familar too” 

Its surprising how just a question can bring back so much.